[ Truly the worst thing about decorating his bed with like twenty pillows is that they're all weapons now. Aventurine grabs the one Essek had hit him with and throws it off to the side. ]
Please. I'm always going to convince myself it was my fault no matter what others may tell me. If logic and reason were enough to make the guilt go away...
[ Gives a very pointed smile to Essek. ]
We wouldn't be such head-cases in the first place, would we?
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... Do you blame yourself?
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Yes, of course. It was my fault. I saw him as someone who lacked aspiration, and I told him as much. I sent him to his death.
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It's not as though you ordered him to be ill-prepared or marched him into the ruins yourself.
[ Just kind of a defeated sigh, though, as he closes his eyes. ]
But who am I to tell you these things? I'd be a hypocrite when I carry my own special brand of guilt.
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[He slaps a pillow over Aventurine's face suddenly, but doesn't try to smother.]
Yes, exactly, so shut up. What do you even have to feel guilty about exactly...? What you told me about before? Sacrificing people for you?
You are a changed man now, though, aren't you? Well, except for when it comes to Nehan apparently.
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Please. I'm always going to convince myself it was my fault no matter what others may tell me. If logic and reason were enough to make the guilt go away...
[ Gives a very pointed smile to Essek. ]
We wouldn't be such head-cases in the first place, would we?