[SWATS AT THE HAND, annoyed. Less about the poking and more about the fact Aventurine turned this into a dunk on him when he was about to be a little more open (not that Aventurine would have KNOWN this).]
The last time I saw my father, I had made him terribly angry, and he went into the ruins of Bazzoxan ill-prepared, and we never saw him again.
Edited (my fingers mixed up my letters hello) 2025-07-18 03:41 (UTC)
[ Truly the worst thing about decorating his bed with like twenty pillows is that they're all weapons now. Aventurine grabs the one Essek had hit him with and throws it off to the side. ]
Please. I'm always going to convince myself it was my fault no matter what others may tell me. If logic and reason were enough to make the guilt go away...
[ Gives a very pointed smile to Essek. ]
We wouldn't be such head-cases in the first place, would we?
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[ Pokes Essek on the forehead. ]
It was a long time ago. Don't get all somber on me.
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The last time I saw my father, I had made him terribly angry, and he went into the ruins of Bazzoxan ill-prepared, and we never saw him again.
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... Do you blame yourself?
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Yes, of course. It was my fault. I saw him as someone who lacked aspiration, and I told him as much. I sent him to his death.
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It's not as though you ordered him to be ill-prepared or marched him into the ruins yourself.
[ Just kind of a defeated sigh, though, as he closes his eyes. ]
But who am I to tell you these things? I'd be a hypocrite when I carry my own special brand of guilt.
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[He slaps a pillow over Aventurine's face suddenly, but doesn't try to smother.]
Yes, exactly, so shut up. What do you even have to feel guilty about exactly...? What you told me about before? Sacrificing people for you?
You are a changed man now, though, aren't you? Well, except for when it comes to Nehan apparently.
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Please. I'm always going to convince myself it was my fault no matter what others may tell me. If logic and reason were enough to make the guilt go away...
[ Gives a very pointed smile to Essek. ]
We wouldn't be such head-cases in the first place, would we?