essek.

[tactic]

Comments

[unconsecuted]

I don't know. I was feeling emboldened all week. I assume it was whatever was plaguing us this past week.

[An exhale.]

The most annoying part is I don't mind. [??] What are you expecting me to learn exactly...?

[tactic]

[ Oh... Sigma Essek. ]

That's for you to learn and for me to find out by annoying you until you answer. [ hehe ] He seems like a friendly enough guy, though I can tell trouble usually follows him wherever he goes.

[unconsecuted]

[DON'T JUST SAY SIGMA ESSEK. Stringles you.]

Of course you will.

[THE VIBES ARE ANNOYED BUT LIKE THE (FOND) SORT.]

It's not - forget that. It isn't like what you're thinking. [...] And Caleb...

[tactic]

[ Watches Essek... like yes... you are so close... ]

And Caleb.

[ He got one memory of the guy and now he's Team Caleb. ]

[unconsecuted]

[Die.]

...

[So funny when Dana thinks Caleb is the enemy, and Siz is just right there having to listen. He frowns.

Then lifts his hands to dump his face in them.]

What the fuck am I doing?

[tactic]

[ There, there, buddy... Aventurine will pat his shoulder, but the emoshare is very amused, but also slightly concerned. ]

Don't overthink it, Essek. You're having a bit of fun, that's all.

[unconsecuted]

[A deep sigh. The pat makes his feelings sort of prickle warmly? His hands sloughs off his face slowly.]

It's not really the time to be having fun. [Wait.] I'm not just having fun. Seeing it that way just feels... careless. As if I don't take their feelings, or my own feelings seriously.

They aren't playthings.

[tactic]

You just can't let me forget how soft your heart is, can you?

[ Clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. ]

You're allowed to date around. You're allowed to discover for yourself what it is you like and don't like, what you're looking for and what you're looking to avoid. You're not playing with them. You're getting to know them.

[unconsecuted]

[His mood becomes mildly flustered and also frustrated. STOP. He hates this week especially. He can feel himself attempting to strangle anything he's radiating.]

This is... ridiculous. And difficult. [:\] ...I feel as if Anders is looking for something... I'm not sure I am able to give.

[His feelings warble back and forth between uncertainty and shame.]

He's hungry for love. Deep, authentic, affectionate love.

[tactic]

... Geez, talk about being under pressure.

[ That's a lot. Especially for him. A little bit of fear even jumps out of him from emotionshare. ]

I'm not saying you couldn't provide it to him, but that's a big ask right out of the gate.

[unconsecuted]

[Smells the fear on him. (no)]

No, no. He didn't ask for it. Just... the way he talked about it, about himself. It's very clear [IT'S SO FUCKING CLEAR] this is something he desires.

People have not been good to him in this regard. And, I... just... I am new to this, and I am not a very... affectionate person.

[He gets to be - later. When he's more comfortable with Caleb, he is incredibly affectionate in his own way. So it's possible.]

What am I even saying? None of these are options! I'm about to be eviscerated by a purple tiefling madman assimilating with nine powerful mages! We don't even know if we will ever see anyone here again!

[tactic]

[ NOT THE SPIRALING AT THE RAT EXHIBIT

Aventurine will let him do this for like two seconds before slapping both of his hands over his cheeks (his face cheeks) to try and snap him out of it. And then he will hold Essek's face and gently shake him. ]

Alright, friend! We are going to change the topic and not think about this any longer. Hey, look at this rat.

[ Turns Essek's face so he can look at a rat in a glass case. It is in a fancy period piece dress. ]

[unconsecuted]

[The hands startle him out of the spiral. Something blooms out of him, though, an extremely warm and burning feeling followed by mild confusion.

The face in Aventurine's hands grows hot around the palms, and his smushed deeply violet face is looking back at them in the reflection of the case.]

I don't want to look at this rat... Why did you even bring us here?

[Blames Aventurine. The way not a single person has told him Lucien had been hanging out in space.]

[tactic]

[ anna what are you doing

But okay, this string of emotions distracts him for just a moment, before his focus is being returned to that of the nicely dressed rat. ]

I figured it would be quiet, private place to chat since there's no concert being played. You are the type to get easily embarrassed.

[ Wow, the way Essek's face is burning in his hands is sure proving that. But Aventurine will be kind and merciful and let go. ]

[unconsecuted]

[im not doing anything?

ANYWAY. Cool relief comes to his face, but it is still deeply purple and warm. He does not want to move to do anything for fear it will make it obvious even if it's already obvious.]

Just be quiet. I don't get embarrassed for no reason.

[Everyone else is just insane. HE IS STILL LOOKING INSANELY AT THIS RAT SO HE DOES NOT HAVE TO LOOK AT AVENTURINE.]

I'll be fine.

[tactic]

[ Unfortunately, Aventurine is not stupid, and he takes notice of everything immediately. The emotionshare, the extreme blushing, and now, Essek won't even look at him? ]

What's the matter with you?

[ ARE YOU CURSED ESSEK... WHO DID THIS TO YOU ]

[unconsecuted]

[No, please be stupid, or whatever. He glances at Aventurine, brows furrowed. A sort of strange confusion wiggles up out of the embarrassment.]

What are you talking about?

[SO MUCH IS THE MATTER WITH HIM. He looks away.]

[tactic]

[ Why are you doing this to my Essek. ]

... If I have to grab your face again to make you look at me, I will, but I have the distinct feeling that you wouldn't want that.

[ THREATENS HIM. ]

[unconsecuted]

[Why do you even think he's cursed????

His eyes cut threateningly at Aventurine. The embarrassment turns into sort of like embarrassed fear, a little humiliation.

He does not fully look though.]

I'll bite you.

[tactic]

[ This is so concerning, and Aventurine's emoshare makes it apparent that he's starting to become worried. ]

Seriously, Essek, what's going on?

[ He will not grab his face but he will place a hand on Essek's arm experimentally? ]

You're acting strange.

[unconsecuted]

[ANNOYING. Stop being worried! He frowns, but does not pull or turn away.]

I'm fine, I said. I'm not cursed, so shut up with that.

I hate this week more than the last one. Just carry on. Look at rats, or something. What else
do you want to know about the stupid date with Anders?

Make fun of me for foolishly asking Childe to dinner, or getting flirted with by Jae-ha. Something!

[tactic]

[ THIS IS JUST MAKING HIM EVEN MORE WORRIED??

He will wait until Essek is done before pulling him over to a bench somewhere in the exhibit so they can both sit down. God. Suddenly, he regrets bringing them to the rat exhibit. ]

... Let's just sit here for a second, okay? Maybe take a deep, couple of breaths.

[unconsecuted]

I said I was fine...

[Through gritted teeth, but he puts up no resistance going to the bench to just drop down onto it. He puts his face in his hands with his elbows on his knees.

A sigh.]

Stop treating me like a child, or like you think I am about to have a meltdown.

[You've been had a meltdown, sweetheart.]

[tactic]

I think you're in the middle of one, actually.

[ It's gently teasing at least, but he will lean back against the wall while Essek is leaned forward with his face in his hands. There's a sort of muted emotion coming from Aventurine, still concerned, but also uncertain. ]

If you were anyone else right now, I'd probably be making a break for it.

[ Again, more teasing, but it's more to fill the silence than anything else. ]

[unconsecuted]

A lot is happening.

[Here and back home!!!! He just sits this way as a stupid gay wizard drow man does. The crash out is dissipating, but there is still embarrassment hanging around.]

It's almost as if you are reaping the consequences of trying so hard to get me to be friends with you.

[Aventurine deserves this. He doesn't say anything for a long moment, though, even if Aventurine is desperately attempting to not make it awkwardly silent.]

Thank you for not running away.